Clearly, this is what happens when you unapologetically spend one or more days with your ass glued to your couch, and your eyes to the TV. This is not just indulging in a few episodes of back-to-back SVU, people; this is binge watching three full seasons followed by two Disney classics, a nap, and four more seasons. This is the type of laziness where you have to rotate your couching position every few hours because your back is breaking in half from couch-soreness.
But it’s worth it friends. I’m on day 3 of my ass-couch extravaganza, and frozen pizza with leftover Halloween candy just isn’t cutting it anymore. It’s time for something fried. It’s time for deep-fried pickles with a cucumber yogurt- aioli!
For the raita
1 cup seeded, grated, and drained cucumbers
½ cup Greek yogurt
1 tbs chopped cilantro
1 tbs minced red onion
1 glove grated garlic
1 tsp salt
¼ tsp cumin
For the fried pickles
½ gallon of fry oil, I used canola
1 jar of pickles, cut into matchsticks
¾ cup chickpea (garbanzo) flour
1 cup panko bread crumbs
2 tbs curry powder
1 tsp salt
¼ tsp baking powder
For the raita aioli
½ cup of the raita you just made
¼ cup mayo
Sriracha and lime for serving
First, lets get working on the raita, an addicting Indian condiment made from yogurt and cucumbers. But you would’ve known that if you’d watched as much Food Network as I have today. Try to keep up. Cut off the ends of your cucumber and slice it long-ways down the middle. I needed two medium-sized ones to get the cup that I needed. If your cucumbers have seeds, scrape them out with a spoon. Then grate the flesh on a large-holed cheese grater, holding onto the skin. The flesh will grate right off, while the waxy skin stays intact. I learned that from the horror movie I watched last night. Still in the mood to eat? Good.
Pile the grated cucumber on a clean dishtowel and ring it out over your sink. Mix the cucumber with the yogurt, cilantro, garlic, onion, salt, and cumin. Stash this baby in the fridge so all the flavors can meld together. I’m telling you people, this stuff is good on everything. We’ll only need ½ cup of it for the pickle dipping sauce so you’ll have plenty left over to munch on all week. Use it as a dip for grilled chicken or roasted root vegetables. Fuck, I just eat it with pretzel chips. Use your imagination.
Now, onto the frickles. Fried-pickles. But you already knew that. Start by cutting the pickles into thinner strips so they are easier to eat. Then set up a breading station with a bowl for your beaten eggs, another for your chickpea flour mixed with the salt, curry, and baking powder, and one for the panko. Dip your pickle spears first into the chickpea flour, then the egg, then the panko, and arrange them on a plate or cooling rack.
In a small pot, heat your oil to 360° and fry the pickles in batches of four or five. Unless you have a burn-wish, use a spider or metal tongs to drop your pickles into the hot oil.
They only take a minute or two to become golden brown and perfect. Fish them out and drain them on a brown paper bag, and instantly sprinkle them with a little more salt.
While you pickles are cooling down from being boiling-lava-hot, get your raita out of the fridge. Take ½ cup of it and stir it into ¼ cup of mayo. Drizzle on some sriracha and lime juice and scarf every last one of them back in front of the TV.
Go ahead; wipe your greasy fingers on a throw pillows. I wont tell anyone.
- For the raita
- 1 cup seeded, grated, and drained cucumbers
- ½ cup Greek yogurt
- 1 tbs chopped cilantro
- 1 tbs minced red onion
- 1 glove grated garlic
- 1 tsp salt
- ¼ tsp cumin
- For the fried pickles
- ½ gallon of fry oil, I used canola
- 1 jar of pickles, cut into matchsticks
- 2 eggs
- ¾ cup chickpea (garbanzo) flour
- 1 cup panko bread crumbs
- 2 tbs curry powder
- 1 tsp salt
- ¼ tsp baking powder
- For the raita aioli
- ½ cup of the raita you just made
- ¼ cup mayo
- Sriracha and lime for serving
- Cut off the ends of your cucumber and slice it long-ways down the middle
- Scrape out the seeds and grate the flesh
- Pile the grated cucumber on a clean dishtowel and ring it out over your sink
- Mix the cucumber with the yogurt, cilantro, garlic, onion, salt, and cumin then refrigerate for 20 mins
- Cut the pickles into matchsticks
- Then set up a breading station with a bowl for your beaten eggs, another for your chickpea flour mixed with the salt, curry, and baking powder, and one for the panko
- Dip your pickle spears first into the chickpea flour, then the egg, then the panko, and arrange them on a plate or cooling rack
- In a small pot, heat your oil to 360°
- Fry the pickles in batches of four or five for 2 minutes, or until golden brown
- Drain them on a brown paper bag and sprinkle with extra salt
- Remove raita from the fridge
- combine ½ cup of mixture with ¼ cup of mayo
- To serve, drizzle fried pickles with sriracha and lime and dip into the raita and mayo mixture