Due to the toxic direction in which my life has been taking me, I have made the decision to tackle my first Whole 30. It’s seriously time for me to start fresh and purge all the gunk out of my life and my body. While some attempt this month of deprivation to lose some poundage, for me it will be but a happy byproduct. More than lose weight, I wanted to give this a go to better stabilize my moods and to get my energy levels and focus up to snuff**.
I eat consciously 80% of the time anyway, so it really didn’t occur to me that I would be struggling with this diet change. I don’t eat a lot of sugar, carbs, or dairy on the regular, but I do drink like a fucking fish. Losing alcohol was a lot harder than I thought, honestly. I want it everyday. I guess that makes me alcoholish, as my mom likes to say. But I’m doing it, people! Just don’t get your delicious beer anywhere near my face. I will want to inhale it. Also those La Croix sodas have changed my life. They taste like a mocktail and feel like a cold beer in your hand. The coconut flavor rules my world.
Grocery shopping/ Meal prep:
As far is eating/ cooking goes, preparation is everything. Normally I don’t do huge trips to the grocery store. I pick up a little veg and meat every day, depending on what I’m in the mood to eat. This DOES NOT WORK on this damn diet. The only way to keep this going is to stuff your fridge full of fresh veggies, meat, and fruit so it’s on hand when you need it. If you work, or tend to spend days out of the house, be sure to bring way more food with you than you think you’ll need. If you run out of food/ snacks, you will hurt someone who is standing too close.
So far in week 1, I have experienced a crazy DECREASE in energy. I’m exhausted by the end of the day, and totally freakin’ brain dead. Ive had head aches on and off, and have been super foggy and forgetful. It seriously feels like a hangover that wont go away. But that’s what this is people! This is my body detoxing and withdrawing from sugar and alcohol. I wanted to quit every single day this week, but all the literature I’ve read has suggested that the 1st week is the hardest. Oh, and forget about working out. I can barely keep myself standing up all day, let alone jog a mile. I have, however, done some light yoga and stretching every-other day. And also my daily 10 push-ups to keep my boobs from sagging if I lose weight. Priorities, people.
I drink my coffee black anyway because I’m a fucking pirate. Look elsewhere if you need a recipe for paleo mocha cappuccino. Gross. And I sleep like a baby every night and usually wake up with no problems. Sorry.
So I have found that I need two breakfasts every day now that I’m cutting out the foods that fill me up. I’ll have some sort of egg dish to start after I have my coffee and morning poop. A big batch of brussels bravas lasts for days, and you can use the leftover sauces for dunking veggies or chicken. Just don’t fry the eggs ahead of time, and omit the sugar in the paprika sauce. Also this avocado and arugula pesto sauce is awesome on a scramble instead of cheese. Try using things like mushrooms and cauliflower in your scrambles to fill up your belly. This month, we need all the help we can get. I have my eggs at about 7:30, so by the time I’m ready to leave for work at 9 I’m already starving again. I’ll had a scoop of almond butter if i’m in a rush, or I’ll take the time to make a quick smoothie bowl.
I know, I know, the boss babes over at Whole 30 suggest you do NOT do smoothies. Well I say fuck it. I’m not having a big gulp full of yogurt and chocolate sauce here. I make small 8oz servings, and always top it with some coconut flakes or chopped almonds and eat it with a spoon. They suggest that chewing your food instead of drinking it sends a different message to your brain. Well, I buy it, so I’m chewing. I’ve been doing frozen carrot slices, a frozen slice of ginger, and a small handful of frozen blueberries blending with either a splash of coconut milk or OJ. Come after me, smoothie police. I’ll be waiting.
Snack/ Lunch/ Snack:
I bring a freaking arsenal with me when I go to work. Roasted, unsalted almonds, almond butter, roasted broccoli and cauliflower with dipping sauces, (an aioli or paprika sauce from the brussels bravas recipe or some avocado pesto) grilled chicken or stake, watermelon slices, an apple, and leftovers from dinner. I don’t always finish all of it, but I’m always happy I prepared.
Coming home from a long and hungry day and cooking dinner is seriously therapeutic. I’m telling you that food therapy is real, and everyone should be doing it. Also, cooking somehow makes me less hungry. Well, a little less hungry. I’m grilling a lot because it 80° here and I don’t feel like being indoors any more than I have to be. I make a big batch of these creamy crack tacos and eat it sans the tortilla. I’ll just pile up the slaw and chicken an a big bowl and top it with avocado and a squeeze of lime. I’ve made my watermelon and pea shoot salad a few times with some grilled chicken or shrimp on the side. And I’ve made a bangin’ salad with arugula, chunks of pineapple and jicama, pepitas, and grilled shrimp. I just dress it simply with olive oil, lime juice, salt and pepper. I’d post the recipe, but I kind of just told you exactly how to make it. It’s a self explanatory non-recipe recipe. And I didn’t make it up myself as much as I stole it from a restaurant I like to go to. So there.
Sad, sad spoonful of almond butter if I get starving before bed. Only three more weeks of this nonsense….
What doesn’t fly with me:
- Steamed spaghetti squash or zoodles as a pasta substitute. I’m sorry I cannot.
- Sweet potatoes. I don’t really like ‘em. Whole 30 says I can have regular potatoes, so I’m gonna. I’ll have them every 3 days or so just so I can remember what it feels like to have a full belly
- Hard core exercise. I just haven’t had the energy honestly. If I’m feeling better next week, I might try some light cardio
- Eating three normal meals as usual. NOPE. I’m hungry all damn day. 2 breakfasts, 2 snacks, lunch, dinner, snack.
- Feeling great right away! I will only say this once. I feel like shit. My mood stability has gotten worse. I’m exhausted, I have headaches, my brain literally isn’t functioning normally. I’m miserable, people. But I’m doing it.
*Trying this diet and posting about it is a new experiment for me. Is anyone out there interested in any of this? Do you prefer when I just post my regular recipes? Let a chick know.
**And let me reiterate that I’m not doing this to lose weight. I am approaching this from a mental health standpoint and want to keep you more tuned in to how I feel on the program rather than giving you meal plans and detailed lists of every single thing I eat every day. Hopefully you like the delivery.